The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Originally posted at Iamthatgirl.com
Inevitably, everyone, at one point or the other, has a friend or family member who succumbs to sickness. Unfortunately, this can cause grief, depression, stress, and even anxiety. Sadly, I am learning that it’s not easy to embrace the unknown. Eventually, we all have to come together in our lives to make crucial decisions regarding loss. We ask ourselves: how is this going to be solved?
Since 2011, my grandfather has fallen very ill. It’s caused great concern in my life and in my immediate family. It’s as if a ton of boulders have fallen onto me personally, yet it’s hurting us all. His health has slowly deteriorated, but there’s not much my family can do. My grandmother is taking care of him, making sure he has all he needs, but we are worried about her health as well. The nature of his illness is difficult to understand and leaves me/us feeling powerless. My parents are helping me to deal with and to prepare for whatever is coming, but it is still extremely hard to confront.
How should people deal with grief, especially with an elder family member? I don’t think there’s an easy answer, but I have been searching for one. For our family, it’s been a tough spot; there are not many options for us. Like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said-we cannot stop grief, but there are tools that can help identify our emotions. In a situation such as this, it’s best to take a look at yourself: how are you handling the situation? As a friend or a family member’s sickness gets worse, you have to take charge of your own health in order to help yourself and others get through the grieving process. This is something I am slowly learning to do. The melancholy news can push you into a never ending black hole. Every day I try to fight against going into this black hole. Whenever the phone rings, I worry there might be bad news about Poppa….
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